I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Is it because I queefed?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
