You just made me feel so damn special
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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