East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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