I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
