Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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