Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
