I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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