Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
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Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
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You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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