I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
well you can't waste a boner
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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