Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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