READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize