The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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