the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she peed on how many people?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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