I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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