I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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