I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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