Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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