He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
