there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
