I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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