508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
