u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Well I just put wine in my tea
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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