if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize