found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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