i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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