I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
