come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
