69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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