dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Who did Billy Mays play for?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
