Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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