belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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