Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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