never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize