Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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