i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I smell stomach acid.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
