dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Randomize
