He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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