besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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