did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
