I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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