I'm jealous of your bromance
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
