its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
