Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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