tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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