margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
