I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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