While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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