Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize