we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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