things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
