you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
