Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
wow bdsm is so cute
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
