I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
i out mim tonsoeep
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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