Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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