that's an acceptable place to lick
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
