i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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