your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Randomize
