Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
