NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize