Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
